transatlanticism

and I have learned, that even land lock lovers yearn for the sea like navy men.

You watch me close enough to know when I’m a million miles away, stuck in my own head of worries and fears. You sat me down. You didn’t pry. You didn’t ask any questions. You just watched me. You didn’t need to tell me that it was okay to talk, that you cared more than anything in the world. You’re the first person to not interrupt or exclaim that you understand. You just sat and listened. You didn’t run off when I told you how broken I felt and how much pain I was harboring. You didn’t fault when I released the weight of the world that had been on my shoulders. You have no idea how that moment felt. Without any words at all you made me believe that everything would be okay.
Sometimes people come into your life to teach you something about yourself. You have taught me that I am a good person even when I doubted myself, that I’m strong even when I feel like I am completely broken, and that what people think doesn’t matter. 
This is more than I ever planned and we have been through things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It scares me to think where I would be without you but I know that you won’t be around forever and I don’t blame you. You became intermingled in the chaos that is my life and I believe I dragged you down with all my misfortune. It breaks my heart to see you hate yourself the way you do and it kills me to think that I may have contributed to that - even in the smallest of ways. I think the hardest part is not being able to show you how much you’ve done for me and not being able to help you like you have helped me. While letting you go will break my heart, I love you enough to sacrifice my happiness for slight chance that it will heighten yours.

You watch me close enough to know when I’m a million miles away, stuck in my own head of worries and fears. You sat me down. You didn’t pry. You didn’t ask any questions. You just watched me. You didn’t need to tell me that it was okay to talk, that you cared more than anything in the world. You’re the first person to not interrupt or exclaim that you understand. You just sat and listened. You didn’t run off when I told you how broken I felt and how much pain I was harboring. You didn’t fault when I released the weight of the world that had been on my shoulders. You have no idea how that moment felt. Without any words at all you made me believe that everything would be okay.

Sometimes people come into your life to teach you something about yourself. You have taught me that I am a good person even when I doubted myself, that I’m strong even when I feel like I am completely broken, and that what people think doesn’t matter.

This is more than I ever planned and we have been through things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It scares me to think where I would be without you but I know that you won’t be around forever and I don’t blame you. You became intermingled in the chaos that is my life and I believe I dragged you down with all my misfortune. It breaks my heart to see you hate yourself the way you do and it kills me to think that I may have contributed to that - even in the smallest of ways. I think the hardest part is not being able to show you how much you’ve done for me and not being able to help you like you have helped me. While letting you go will break my heart, I love you enough to sacrifice my happiness for slight chance that it will heighten yours.

These scars will remind me of just how lucky I am, that I have a purpose in this life, and that I am so much stronger than I could ever have imagined.

These scars will remind me of just how lucky I am, that I have a purpose in this life, and that I am so much stronger than I could ever have imagined.

I’m learning the hard way that the people that leave you when you’re at your lowest point are people you don’t, and never will, need in your life.

2013 has been the hardest year of my life. I watched my mum face the biggest battle of her life, learned to cope with the uncertainty that was her future, battled my way through my first year of vet both socially and academically, and took on the issues of others before addressing my own. This year I feel like I have lost not only my happiness and my self confidence but the happiness within my family and who I am. I am drained and tired. But, in saying that, this year I have experienced so many amazing things that are often overshadowed by these tough times. I got into my dream course and started the education I need for my dream career, met some incredible people whom I will share much of my future with and met an amazing guy that, despite our enormous ups and downs and bad timing, made this whole year so much easier for me than it could have been. 
It’s an understatement to say that I have had a bad year but it has taught me what is most important in life and made me feel stronger and optimistic for what the future has to hold for me and my family alike. I wouldn’t be half the person I am without the downs but I really hope that this next year is full of positive experiences. I can’t wait to see what 2014 has in store!

2013 has been the hardest year of my life. I watched my mum face the biggest battle of her life, learned to cope with the uncertainty that was her future, battled my way through my first year of vet both socially and academically, and took on the issues of others before addressing my own. This year I feel like I have lost not only my happiness and my self confidence but the happiness within my family and who I am. I am drained and tired. But, in saying that, this year I have experienced so many amazing things that are often overshadowed by these tough times. I got into my dream course and started the education I need for my dream career, met some incredible people whom I will share much of my future with and met an amazing guy that, despite our enormous ups and downs and bad timing, made this whole year so much easier for me than it could have been.

It’s an understatement to say that I have had a bad year but it has taught me what is most important in life and made me feel stronger and optimistic for what the future has to hold for me and my family alike. I wouldn’t be half the person I am without the downs but I really hope that this next year is full of positive experiences. I can’t wait to see what 2014 has in store!

It saddens me that there are young girls out there getting boob jobs like it’s nothing, purely because they want larger, perkier, more ‘appealing’ breasts while there are women that have no option but to have them removed in a life or death situation. When will we stop taking the things that we have for granted. When will we just be happy with what we’ve got; happy that we are healthy and loved.

Shoutout to the wealthy, educated, straight baby boomers who voted in a government that want us to take a step backward and not forward. You’ve voted to ruin the environment for us and future generations, to not allow many of our friends to get married, and encouraged selfishness, racism and sexism. Thanks for voting in a leader that glorified the appearance of his daughters just to win a few votes.

Sincerly the youth of Australia.

People crave change so badly that they can’t see how good our country already had it.

http://diaryofafuturevet.tumblr.com/ »

Just started up a new blog following my adventures as a vet student. If you’re interested in my journey or having a little giggle at some of the humorous and gross things I’m going to have to do in the future feel free to follow and take a peek!

When I look at myself in the mirror I barely recognise my reflection. All I see is a shell - an unenthusiastic and tired shell of the person I once was. My eyes are tired and my skin and hair dull. I rarely wear makeup anymore and my nails are chewed to within an inch of their life. I almost have this desire for non-existence. I can’t pinpoint when I lost myself and that’s what scares me the most. I wish I knew when I became a zombie, what triggered me to shy away from the fantastic life I was leading. I wish I knew how I could get back on track. It’s hard to be positive when you don’t even know who you are anymore, that there’s not even any joy in the things you once loved. If I can’t even love myself, how can anyone ever love me? But my biggest question is this: what if I never actually find myself, what happens then? The answer to that is what scares me the most.

When I look at myself in the mirror I barely recognise my reflection. All I see is a shell - an unenthusiastic and tired shell of the person I once was. My eyes are tired and my skin and hair dull. I rarely wear makeup anymore and my nails are chewed to within an inch of their life. I almost have this desire for non-existence. I can’t pinpoint when I lost myself and that’s what scares me the most. I wish I knew when I became a zombie, what triggered me to shy away from the fantastic life I was leading. I wish I knew how I could get back on track. It’s hard to be positive when you don’t even know who you are anymore, that there’s not even any joy in the things you once loved. If I can’t even love myself, how can anyone ever love me? But my biggest question is this: what if I never actually find myself, what happens then? The answer to that is what scares me the most.

I shouldn’t have to try convince myself every morning that today will be a good day.

I’m falling for you and you’re falling for me. Youd think it would be simple, like 1+1=2, right? Nope, I wish. The timing is actually very important but unfortunately it is a skill I’ve never had. If we had met 6 months in the future there would not be an issue in the world that could tear us apart but the fact is we didn’t. However, whether it is good or bad, I can’t bring myself not to fight for a connection like ours. I feel like giving up now would be such a waste. I understand you can’t guarantee that your feelings won’t change, but neither can I. It’s a risk I feel I’m willing to take and a possible broken heart I’m willing to mend. Life is too short and fragile to let an opportunity to feel love slip through your fingers. They say you regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.  I guess only time will tell whether this gamble pays off, but right now the odds feel good.

I’m falling for you and you’re falling for me. Youd think it would be simple, like 1+1=2, right? Nope, I wish. The timing is actually very important but unfortunately it is a skill I’ve never had. If we had met 6 months in the future there would not be an issue in the world that could tear us apart but the fact is we didn’t. However, whether it is good or bad, I can’t bring myself not to fight for a connection like ours. I feel like giving up now would be such a waste. I understand you can’t guarantee that your feelings won’t change, but neither can I. It’s a risk I feel I’m willing to take and a possible broken heart I’m willing to mend. Life is too short and fragile to let an opportunity to feel love slip through your fingers. They say you regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did. I guess only time will tell whether this gamble pays off, but right now the odds feel good.

Anonymous asked: Would you ever judge someone for the number if people they've slept with? Eg. Would you say a 16 year old girl who had slept with 10 boys was a slut, or a 16 year old boy who had slept with 30 girls was a player?

I don’t think derogatory names are really needed. I think I’d be more concerned that there may be underlying issues with those children - which is exactly what they are, children.

Anonymous asked: Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with? Male or female.

To be honest, each to their own. I personally think that the number doesn’t matter as long as the people you did sleep with you were comfortable with and was someone you actually wanted to sleep with. I don’t think the question of gender is ever relavant on this type of topic. What gives one gender more right to sleep with more people than the other? Absolutely nothing. It’s more about the individual than anything else.