I never really expected to feel like this. I’d been connected so closely to at least one person all the time for the past few years. My life revolved around proving my worth and making everyone else happy. The truth is I never felt good enough with any of them. I never felt appreciated or worthy or, ultimately, happy. I was somewhat punishing myself for a reason I will never completely be sure of. Sometimes it takes some distance from something to truly comprehend what is actually going on. Taking a step back has made me realise that it doesn’t matter whether I’m good enough for anyone else and their high set expectations. All that matters is that in my heart I feel that I am good enough for myself. I figure that when I feel content with who I am and where I am going everything else will just fall in to place. So far I couldn’t be any more right.
(via itsalongstory)
Anonymous asked: you are SUCH a beautiful writer.
Oh, why thankyou. That caught me very much off guard. Made my night :)
I would do anything to make you realise how special you are.
Anonymous asked: would you reccoment taking a gap year or going straight to uni?
Please keep in mind I always knew what I wanted to do with my life when I say uni is actually not all that bad. I love my course and you get to meet heaps of new people and experience all kinds of new things. Everyone at my uni is so incredibly nice which always helps. But, in all honesty, if I had no idea what I wanted to do then uni isn’t the place to be and a year off can seriously help you decide what you want to do, as long as you’re actually able to find a job or something else to do because apparently it’s not as easy as it sounds.
Even if you go to uni you will find it lonely for a while but if it’s what you want just take a leap.
You were like a hot cup of coffee and I was just a young child. I could tell you were hot, that you were ultimately going to burn me, but I touched you anyway. Now I’m nurturing the burns you left to my hands and quite ultimately my heart. It’s a constant reminder of how much trust I had in the world - how curious I once was. I look after them every day hoping to erase all the questions on my mind and all the memories we shared. As they heal I begin to feel better, not as ashamed and not as cautious as I have become but then you appear and it feels like you make it your mission to rip off all the scabs, slowly and painfully. I don’t drink coffee anymore and I don’t want to until I can trust myself to let go before I get attached and feel the everlasting pain. Eventually these burns will turn to scars and only time will tell if they will ever disappear.
shaestoltze asked: i love you
I love you more
I wish life had a rewind button…
not because I regret anything, more so because I finally have to guts to say what I was thinking the whole time.
You’ll never love me like you use to.
The truth is people never grow up. Leaving high school doesn’t stop the bitching, the lies and immaturity, it purely spreads it out over a wider surface. There is nothing ‘cool’ about ignoring someone and making them feel like crap nor is there anything ‘cool’ about spreading rumors or intentionally hurting someone for your own amusement. Lies don’t make situations easier to deal with so don’t think your sheltering someone by not telling them the truth because it always comes out eventually. Face your own problems and talk them out instead of playing these silly games of chinese whispers behind eachothers back. There is nothing worse than being the only one not to know the truth and no one to have the guts to tell you. Face your own problems and talk them out instead of playing these silly games of chinese whispers behind eachothers back. There is nothing worse than being the only one that doesn’t know. Just be honest and a nice person - it really isnt that hard. In fact, you will probably like yourself more because, quite frankly, people will enjoy your company more.
(Source: 0smos1s, via wastedayswiththinking)
Anonymous asked: your last post = why people take gap years
trust me, I completely understand it now
I seriously have no idea what I’m doing right now in terms of life on a whole. For the first time in roughly a year I’ve got no one holding me here. The only relationship I’m remotely in is the one with my uni and it’s highly unfulfilling. I wake up in the morning and feel like I have no direction or anything worth staying here for. I wonder what it would be like to move away into a new environment. Lifes comfortable to a point where it’s become almost uncomfortable to live. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, my family and my uni course but I’ve just lost that spark in life that always kept me going. I wish something were holding me here, that someone was screaming for me to stay but there’s not and realistically I think it’s time to weigh up my options and seeing, uni acceptance permitting, whether there’s a better place for me to be right now.
(Source: g0d-saveme, via killinggluttony)
You can’t help who you fall in love with.
